The trip to Orlando was not only to see my mom and help her recoup after surgery(didn't happen) but I was going to go through the whole house and get rid of things. She's going to sell the house this time. For real.
Not just my stuff had to be cleared out, my mom's, dad's and my sister's. I don't know how my mom did it over the years. What was her rationale? Why would she say to heck with some things and others she would shove into the closet? She would get rid of my paintings that weren't bothering her, and ditched them. She will be forever mad at me. Other stuff she would keep forever, like why did she keep my stuffed animals from when I was 10??
Hey but I found my dad's ukulele in her closet, just wish I had his dog tags.
Now I also knew this was going to happen. Mentally I was ready. I was strong. My brother-in law called me up and asked if I would like to look through my sister's things to see if there was anything I would like.
OK I said. I knew there were a couple of items I'd love to have. In high school I didn't have a class ring, but I wore my sister's on a chain. All of us girls went to Boone High and I was proud of that. So I really wanted the ring. It was special to me.
I was fine on the drive over to the house, I was even fine going into the house. Nothing had changed and I hadn't been there in awhile. During the funeral everyone came to my mom's-her house was a gathering place.
My brother in law showed me my sister's dresser. As I started to go through the drawers, I lost it. I found her college ids and post office pin collection and I just sat down and cried.
This is what it comes down to...your family going through your dresser deciding what is going to be kept. How very sad. I wish I could take the whole dresser and not change anything. I found her children's baby teeth-cards-address books. Keeping the dresser in tact wouldn't bring my sister back or change our relationship. And yet it's not right that she's gone either.
I don't want to start to cry again, so I'll stop.
Here's the tea party my son and I had for all of the little animals. My mom saved the animals for this moment.