05 June 2006

haints and saints don't bother me...

Oh where oh where do I start?

I had a huge falling out with my Uncle(dad's brother).

I felt like he should apologize but I said I'm sorry. He still has not spoken to me.

Last week was very tough. Emotions were running high. My dad's birthday was 30 may. He would have been 87. I decided to call my uncle to explain some things about mom and wanting us all to get along and love each other, and that the family has been through enough pain in this year alone. He said some rather unfortunate things to me and I lost it. I shouldn't have but I did. Years and years carrying around emotional baggage is hard, and now I've tossed it aside.

My uncle has not. He's 83 and full of hate. I thought with age he would be more like my understanding,caring father, but he is not. It was my fault to look at him in that way. I will be nice but I do not love him anymore. He has tried to pit my sister and deceased sister's husband and I against each other. Telling each of us different things. He said this, she said this.

In a moment of clarity last week(after I hung the show). It dawned on me. Back when my dad was alive, my uncle did this same exact maneuver with his own brother and sister. For years my dad did not talk to his sister. Tragic. I was 8 and I'm piecing this together now. That's my uncle's m.o. I am sickened, but also grateful to have figured out such a family pandora's box. Not too bad for being the youngest.


Vajana said...

some people are toxic and want to stay that way. Better to just let them stew in their own brew.

Good thoughts to you!

paintergirl said...

Hi Vajana-it's sad but true. I can't believe a person's whole life has been this way. And a relative of mine. But when emotions are bottled up and resentment grows...I could go on and on and he really isn't worth my time thinking about anymore. thanks for thinking about me!

Pics for the show will be up soon.

David said...

Bollocks to families I reckon. At least you can choose your friends.

paintergirl said...

I am no longer related to my uncle. Glad to have friends though!

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Rockin' the Catskills, United States
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