26 October 2005

There's someone in my head but it's not me...

I feel like Syd Barret today, and that's not the greatest feeling in the world. It's not the drugs, it's the people. Everyone is slowly driving me insane.

My mom is visiting and she is at her most negative state I have ever seen her in.

I don't know how I made it through adolescence thinking the glass is half full.

Maybe I'm an artist to escape.

She finds fault or a problem with everything.

My husband is not thrilled with his job. There is no love at the office. I can't blame him. He's as sensitive as I am.

I've been listening to Yann Tiersen. At least I have a nice French soundtrack to my breakdown.

6 comments:

acumamakiki said...

I have a cup 1/2 empty mom too which is why I'm currently not speaking to her. Of course THAT relationship is very complicated but that joy vaccuum, it really brings me down and I am too susceptible to other people to shield myself from it.

I'm sorry your hub doesn't like his job. I feel for you. I think there's nothing worse than a man not happy at their job. I've lived with one and I know. I'm hoping that something changes there for him. I hope he finds the love.

Sylow_P said...

A joy vaccum. What a great descriptor. Does any adult have a mother that doesn't suck away your will to live?

laurenbove said...

jeeze, I have a 1/2 cup full mom and I'm a half cup empty gal. Hmm... is this an evil trick?

My hub doesn't like his job either. He frets over it all the time. It's a major bummer.

I hope better days are coming love! I thought the summer would straighten everything out...now I'm waiting for the summer again. At least we can have frozen beverages again.

Joy vacuum. I'm using that one.

merci bien!

echrai said...

Your mom sounds like mine. I fluctuate. Depending on my circumstances, I'm a half cup full gal, a half cup empty gal, or a my cup was full but is now shattered on the side of the road because some idiot didn't look where they were going and ran it over kind of gal.

paintergirl said...

I will comment to all soon...my mom's depression is dragging me down and ruining my sadness. Now I have to be effervescent and go crazy with the scotch whiskey....more later

xo

paintergirl said...

Acu-1/2 empty moms are very diffult to handle. She has such a strong personality, and at 76 she is tough. I try really hard to soften around her and not to get ruffled by her comments, but I'm onlu human. I an not a saint.

Joy vacuum. Brilliant! You need to go over wikipedia and enter that as a definition. And hubby being unhappy, not a cool thing to deal with...more will follow on this.

sylow p-long time man!
Why do moms do that...I'm baffled. She only wants me happy, but not..Very confusing. She wants me close to her, but pushes me away with psuedo religious talk.

oh lb-we have so much in common.
I thought Fall would bring happiness. I'm waiting too...The colors though are glorious and I should be happy I'm here to appreciate them, right?

echrai-I fluctuate too.Whenever any around me is 1/2 empty, I'm the opposite. When I was a kid though, everything was rosy, then I was a senior in high school and suddenly found out the awful truth. Life deals us all blows and it has to be one thing at a time, and sometimes the outlook is good, and sometimes, well sometimes you just want to go on your own island and never deal with anyone ever again.

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