18 October 2005

She's laughing inside...

This has been on my mind for a week or so and I finally have a chance to sit down.

Listening to the radio-I'll clarify-Classical rock radio makes me very sad. And you know why, because everyone is dying. I know we have lost Lennon and George, and Jimi and that whole 60's crew, but this is slowly creeping into my gen x-er life. and In a row, I heard The Cars "Just What I Needed" with Ben Orr singing and then right after that I heard Robert Palmer singing "Simply Irresistable". Then it was Nirvana. Dead. I am a sensitive gal, but why do I have to feel so depressed. Am I looking for excuses?
I always liked Benny, and those strange eyes. He had cancer and died in Atlanta. See isn't that sad.
Palmer had a massive heart attack and died in Paris. His was sudden and well he was in such a wonderful city.
I'd rather not talk about Kurt though. He was the same age as me, and well I'm still looking at Courtney a little differently. If I ruled the world that woman would be locked away.

Now, I really cannot handle listening to Nat King Cole, not even the Christmas songs. My dad was very fond of him and I miss him too much when I hear Nat's voice.


Vajana said...

heard that song "Doesn't remind me" by Audioslave? That's how I feel sometimes too. All these songs have such strong feelings behind them!

I had "Who wants to Live Forever" by Queen the other day and was near tears. Yes, we're just turning into old sensitive ladies.

No red hats though, I'm not ready for that!!

acumamakiki said...

I didn't even know that Robert Palmer had died......sad. Wonder if he's buried in Pere La Chez?? (Sorry for the butchery of the name)

I'm with you on that skanky ho Courtney, she definitely is a train wreck and had something to do with Kurt dying. I just know it!

echrai said...

Funny, those are the songs I like most - in a melancholy sort of way. Because these people managed to create something bigger than them - bigger than us - bigger than most people ever will. They live on in their music.

marybishop said...

Echrai's comment is so eloquent. I wanted to say something like that - but she said it the best, so I'll just agree.

Lilly said...

I've always greatly admired people who can write and perform music -- simply because music does something amazing to us..... it's like that with smells too, isn't it? Takes you straight down Memory Lane and affects your mood immensely.

Lilly said...

PS. I too only found out about Robert Palmer [fairly] recently. Shocked!

paintergirl said...

Vajana-Oh Queen, yes yes I forgot about poor Freddie. He was such a great singer/writer. Uhhh.

acu-I remember hearing about RP on the radio. How appropriate huh?
And Courtney...did you see her on the Pam Anderson roast. She is gross.

Echrai-I think you nailed it. They did create something bigger and it has out lived their lives. Put very lovely!

MB-Oh anything you say is eloquent. But it's nice you agree with echrai.

Lilly-I admire musicians too. Anything I can't do I really like in other people. And music and smaells work that way in calling up memories. You are so funny, but it's true. I just heard "The Lawrence Welk" theme music the other day and it brought me to tears. I used to watch that show with my mom and dad, and it was on a Saturday night, and that was always spaghetti night. So- I had a double whammy with that recollection, music and the smell of homemade sauce.

Gothamimage said...

That was a sad post, paintergirl.

Perhaps, you need to listen to some classical music - I posted a happier song, on my blog, in a burst of Epic Anticipation.

Gothamimage said...

Do you ever feel sad, and wished you did not feel sad, but think it was your duty to feel sad?

Can a burdonsome unwanted feeling, feel like an obligation?

As an artist, do you integrate your feelings with your thoughts?

All those songs you mentioned bring me back to my childhood.

As an artist yourself, you probably think a heart attack in Paris (R. Palmer) has a certain pathos to it that, say chokeingon chicken bone in a Popeye's in Albany might lack. Look at the bright side.

You know what song makes me sad - it's an old one from WW1, that was revived during WW2. My maternal grandfather, born at the end of the 19th century, used to sing and whistle it when I was young.

"Don't sit under the apple tree,
With anyone else but me
Anyone else but me

Don't walk down lover's lane
With anyone else by me
Anyone else but me."

As he would sing, he would shuffle, two steps forward, one step backward, one step forward, two steps back ward.

Not sure why that just came to mind PG, you provoked it - now you got me thinking about my POP-POP.

paintergirl said...

oh gotham-I didn't mean to make you miss your pop pop. I always liked that song-my mom used to play the piano and she had kept the sheet music for that song. I was always fascinated by all the ww2 references on all of her sheet music.

My sadness does make me feel obligated. It's almost like I need to miss them to keep their memory alive. Someone has to remember them and I guess that's me. I'm a channeler of sadness for these dead artists. I try so hard not to be affected by them being gone and yet it always gets me. Listening to the Beach Boys makes me horribly sad, and I love them so much.

Gothamimage said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Gothamimage said...

You didn't make me sad. I should not have used that word: "Sad"

Just whistful of just nostalgic ( which means 'painful homecoming' in its Greek etymology)

In other words, not a bad sad.

Maybe my latest Fitzgerald Indictment poem may cheer you up.

It's a channeling of Keats-

paintergirl said...

I think I said sad. Just thinking about and missing is good. I read once that if you get to upset over a loved one that is no longer of this world, they will come back and try to comfort you. I always try to stop myself when I miss my dad. I don't want to take him away from all the exotic locales he longed to see, but now has the time visit.

Gothamimage said...

Thanks for the complement on the Fitzgerald poem - I'm not a very good poet, but events are a poweful motivator, so I can update other classics.j/k

Spiritus Mundi- the 'great memory' - the share consciouness of the universe, of all time, with all people. You Dad is part of that, and close in heart and soul.

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