30 June 2005

Kick the crypt and baby walk with me ...

I am very terrified of zombies.

I try to be so cool about it. But the thought of watching another zombie movie, makes my stomach churn.

I try so hard, because my hubby digs the zombie flicks. It's just so hard for me to realize that zombies aren't real. I'm a very rational person, albeit one with an overactive imagination, but I usually talk myself out of being scared.

Vampires-no problem, probably not real. I can especially handle the ones that look like Gary Oldman. Now Tom Cruise as a vampire, I can't even force myself to watch "Interview with the Vampire". He is a disgrace to vampires everywhere.

Werewolves-not real.

Frankenstein-we'll soon have Frankenbabies with all of the genetically crafted foods. Talk to me in about 20 years.

I just can't handle zombies. The sound alone that they make....

I will admit that "Night of the Living Dead" is GREAT! Never will I think of cemetery's in the same way. "They're coming to get you Barbara" haunts me. But in a good scary way.

The problem started when we went to see the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" last year. I have hinted about this movie in other blogs. Those damn zombies are too frickin fast! Not fair. They want to eat your brain AND they can out run you! I don't think so homey!

When we returned home that night, I shut every window and turned off all the lights. How rational is this? How is that going to protect me?

My husband recently was in a bookstore in the city and came across a Zombie Survival Book. I am not alone in my fear!

A new zombie movie is out and I think my dear, sweet spouse is going to have to see this with a friend.

Unless he is ready for me to barricade myself in our basement, and wait for a nuclear explosion, leaving me with radioactive zombies to fight off.

And this would be my hell.


Jeffs place said...

Supernatural stuff can sometimes bristle me. Exorcist, Amityville, anything to do with the devil that is halfway believable. The zombie, frankenstein, vampire stuff does not really phase me. My two best friends went to the drive in to see American Werewolf in London back in the day. They were half drunk and it scared the sh*t out of them. When they got back to drop the one buddy off, they sat in the pickup scared to run to the house. 2 grown men. The effects on that movie were lame, I don't know what scared them so bad. I did like the Van Morrison music in it though.

paintergirl said...

I know that zombies don't exist. It's nuts. I've had this coversation with my husband many times. But voodoo priests can raise the dead, maybe they won't eat you brain...

Jeffs place said...

Where I live the rednecks (such is me) would steal a voodoo priests chickens for a summer time barbeque. They would use his voodoo needles for toothpicks afterwards. The dead may as well stay dead cause they aint touchin my barbeque.

Vajana said...

oh my that is crazy. Zombies huh? Well I would have recommended seeing "Shaun of the Dead" which is wicked hilarious but you might really freak out.

Now I know never to sing Thriller whilst I'm here, eh?? :)

paintergirl said...

Vajana-"Shaun" was really funny. I forgot about that one. See, I'm always trying, you know. No, don't like the Thriller zombies either. Song is ok, never did the dance though.

Jeff-you crack me up! Ain't touching my barbeque.

laurenbove said...

I've always been freaked out by Frankenstein. Up until recently I was plagued with dreams about Frankenstein chasing me. In every dream I was chased in a different way. I still get scared thinking about it.

They say Zombies are actually people who were given a potion to slow their system down to a hibernation state and were buried alive. That lent itself to the issue of coming up out of the earth and walking the earth as the living dead. Really, they were just living.

Weetzie said...

poor thing...I hope you don't end up barricaded in your basement!

Spurious Plum said...

Honey, there is NOTHING wrong with being afraid of decomposing dead dudes trying to kill you.


T said...

Go and Shaun of the Dead again, that cheers you up!!

Also, remember my Law of Unearthly Balance: For there to be Monsters, there MUST also be Heroes to slay them; Whos to say its NOT you?

Failing that, a good old fashioned hiding-under-a-blanket posture always works!!

paintergirl said...

Again-internet connection-BAD!
Lauren-wow. Frankenstein chasing you. I wonder if everyone has a monster fear? When I was a little girl and I listened to "Monster Mash" record that belonged to my dad, there were all sorts of creepy monster songs. What freaked me out the most? "Popeye the Gravedigger".

Weetzie-No basement yet, but I'm thinking about hooking up a phone down there.

Spuriuos-thanks. I just hate them so much!

T-I know-I should see Shaun again, it was very funny.
And you know, I fear that I am the one to fight zombies. There is a nuclear plant not too far away and I am ill prepared for a zombie takeover.

T said...

Well, if you ARE 'The Chosen One' on the big day, I personally reckon you've got the kahunas to lead and battle it out.

You'd do what all the other reluctant heroes do; channel your hidden strengths ( that deep down you know you've got, and have probably used before in every day life ) and kick monster butt!

Miss Kate said...

Hi PG, I've enjoyed your comments at Sparklestone's and Sylow's blog, so I stopped by to see what you're up to.

Last year, Sparklelove and I went to hear David Sedaris read from his most current book at a local bookstore. Mr. S. read a few stories, but then ad-libbed this bit about zombie movies... I've been looking for an audio clip of it but can't find it! The gist is that he's terrified of real zombies, but zombie movies piss him off b/c they are so unreal. He noted that they eat brains but they move slower than geologic time... It'll give you power to think about how slow and dumb those goofball zombies are!

Can't wait to hear what you think...

paintergirl said...

T-You know, if I am the chosen one, it would be fitting wouldn't it? I can't get my toddler to eat his dinner but I'm going to be forced to cut a zombie's head off. Of course. I will have to start doing cardio to build up my strength.

Hey Miss Kate-I'm so happy you stopped by! I love Sedaris. We have started a tradition at our house where we read Santaland Diaries during the holidays.

I have to agree with Sedaris-real zombies are much more scarier than movie zombies. My imagination and what I would make them out to be like-absolutely terrifying. Does he still live in Paris? French zombies would be the worst!

itsmelvin said...

BTW just noticed that your blog is a year old! Happy B-day, p-girl!

paintergirl said...

itsmelvin-(LURKER) Thanks for stopping by and posting. What is YOUR favorite zombie movie? And thanks for the b-day wish...

defiant goddess said...

I'm with you. I avoid ALL horror movies at all costs. I just can't deal.

Unless, of course, Keanu's in it. Then I muddle through. ;)

song said...

duh, werewolves are real.

I don't mind zombies, but now that you've told me the remake of dawn of the dead has fast zombies I wont see it - the whole point is that you can out-run them!

Now werewolves? eeek. I have nightmares where I kill them and they come back alive again (zombie werewolves?) and I wake up sweating and shaking and wont go near even a poodle all day. And they are so real. just like Buffy.

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