28 August 2007
27 August 2007
You can talk to me...
After way too much self (absorption,discovery,reflection,doubt) I'm back to my normal self. The doctor is in.You know what they say though, if you don't know where you've been how will you know where you're going. I find it necessary to have gone through this period.
Sometimes when I allow the world to just "be "the way it is and not fight every little bit, I channel what is good and right. I don't know how it happens, but when I just allow life to just exist without me forcing an issue, it turns out well. I need to remember this.
Some colorful pictures from a trip last week in the city.
Peace and love youse guys!
23 August 2007
And I'm just digging a Chinese ditch...
Today's visuals are brought to you by Paintergirl, who seems to be in a funk at the moment.I have so many memories tied up in Orlando. I guess that's what hometowns are all about.
Some things never change.
This is my favorite bakery shop called Charlies. Great cupcakes!
Our local DQ. I remember many a bike ride with my mom to go have a banana split. The wording on the sign sounds disgusting.
I have never ever eaten here, but I have always loved this sign and I was afraid if I didn't take a photo of it on this trip it would disappear.
I love love love this Edmunds Sign. I took this on the way to the airport when we were leaving. All along this street used to be 50's and 60's styled signs. All gone now.
God Bless America!
My friend John who just visited me-lived here with his mom and brother for a few years a long long time ago. These are on Crystal Lake Drive. I have always loved the name Crystal Lake.
Now for some changes.
This has always been a strange little place. I swear it changes hands every 6 months. I have always thought it was cute.
This used to be our movie theatre.
This was a hopping place back when, now it's a sad memory.
Oh and a Carvel used to be in here to.
Back of a gas local gas station.
I thought this was terribly morbid, but only in Florida and maybe Arizona. buh.
And now for the saddest bit for me, this used to be my dad's Burger Chef.
It used to look like this.
And this concludes my journey.
Some things never change.
This is my favorite bakery shop called Charlies. Great cupcakes!
Our local DQ. I remember many a bike ride with my mom to go have a banana split. The wording on the sign sounds disgusting.
I have never ever eaten here, but I have always loved this sign and I was afraid if I didn't take a photo of it on this trip it would disappear.
I love love love this Edmunds Sign. I took this on the way to the airport when we were leaving. All along this street used to be 50's and 60's styled signs. All gone now.God Bless America!
My friend John who just visited me-lived here with his mom and brother for a few years a long long time ago. These are on Crystal Lake Drive. I have always loved the name Crystal Lake.Now for some changes.
This has always been a strange little place. I swear it changes hands every 6 months. I have always thought it was cute.
This used to be our movie theatre.
This was a hopping place back when, now it's a sad memory.Oh and a Carvel used to be in here to.
Back of a gas local gas station.
I thought this was terribly morbid, but only in Florida and maybe Arizona. buh.And now for the saddest bit for me, this used to be my dad's Burger Chef.
It used to look like this.
And this concludes my journey. 20 August 2007
Yet my hands are shaking...
The trip to Orlando was not only to see my mom and help her recoup after surgery(didn't happen) but I was going to go through the whole house and get rid of things. She's going to sell the house this time. For real.
Not just my stuff had to be cleared out, my mom's, dad's and my sister's. I don't know how my mom did it over the years. What was her rationale? Why would she say to heck with some things and others she would shove into the closet? She would get rid of my paintings that weren't bothering her, and ditched them. She will be forever mad at me. Other stuff she would keep forever, like why did she keep my stuffed animals from when I was 10??
Hey but I found my dad's ukulele in her closet, just wish I had his dog tags.
Now I also knew this was going to happen. Mentally I was ready. I was strong. My brother-in law called me up and asked if I would like to look through my sister's things to see if there was anything I would like.
OK I said. I knew there were a couple of items I'd love to have. In high school I didn't have a class ring, but I wore my sister's on a chain. All of us girls went to Boone High and I was proud of that. So I really wanted the ring. It was special to me.
I was fine on the drive over to the house, I was even fine going into the house. Nothing had changed and I hadn't been there in awhile. During the funeral everyone came to my mom's-her house was a gathering place.
My brother in law showed me my sister's dresser. As I started to go through the drawers, I lost it. I found her college ids and post office pin collection and I just sat down and cried.
This is what it comes down to...your family going through your dresser deciding what is going to be kept. How very sad. I wish I could take the whole dresser and not change anything. I found her children's baby teeth-cards-address books. Keeping the dresser in tact wouldn't bring my sister back or change our relationship. And yet it's not right that she's gone either.
I don't want to start to cry again, so I'll stop.
Here's the tea party my son and I had for all of the little animals. My mom saved the animals for this moment.
Not just my stuff had to be cleared out, my mom's, dad's and my sister's. I don't know how my mom did it over the years. What was her rationale? Why would she say to heck with some things and others she would shove into the closet? She would get rid of my paintings that weren't bothering her, and ditched them. She will be forever mad at me. Other stuff she would keep forever, like why did she keep my stuffed animals from when I was 10??
Hey but I found my dad's ukulele in her closet, just wish I had his dog tags.
Now I also knew this was going to happen. Mentally I was ready. I was strong. My brother-in law called me up and asked if I would like to look through my sister's things to see if there was anything I would like.
OK I said. I knew there were a couple of items I'd love to have. In high school I didn't have a class ring, but I wore my sister's on a chain. All of us girls went to Boone High and I was proud of that. So I really wanted the ring. It was special to me.
I was fine on the drive over to the house, I was even fine going into the house. Nothing had changed and I hadn't been there in awhile. During the funeral everyone came to my mom's-her house was a gathering place.
My brother in law showed me my sister's dresser. As I started to go through the drawers, I lost it. I found her college ids and post office pin collection and I just sat down and cried.
This is what it comes down to...your family going through your dresser deciding what is going to be kept. How very sad. I wish I could take the whole dresser and not change anything. I found her children's baby teeth-cards-address books. Keeping the dresser in tact wouldn't bring my sister back or change our relationship. And yet it's not right that she's gone either.
I don't want to start to cry again, so I'll stop.
Here's the tea party my son and I had for all of the little animals. My mom saved the animals for this moment.
17 August 2007
The girls, they love to see you shoot...
I can't seem to do anything right lately and everything, everything seems to be (a) not getting done or (b) failing miserably
For instance-my new glasses. Yes yes I got cat eye glasses how very-oh don't say it, I love them, but when I had my eyes checked the good doctor told me he could make them a little stronger. I said ok. NOT OK. I had to take them back and the assistant could not read his hand writing and now he's on a holiday. I have to wait,poor me.
And let's see what other bs. I am having no luck getting men to give me an estimate in our driveway hole. Maybe if I stand naked in the driveway someone will offer to do it for free.
Nothing is happening. Is Mercury in retro or something like that?
A new list of advice-a recap
#1-Don't go to Orlando in August.
#2-Don't drive and listen to the Ramones. ?
#3-Don't expect your mom to save your paintings.
#4-You cannot be nice to everyone. I have tried.
#5-If your eyes don't need it, don't get a stronger prescription.
That's all I really want to say right now.
I wanted to post a few Helmut's for the weekend. Then I'll have more O-town stories and pics. (oh goodie shouts my audience of 4.)
Peace and love
For instance-my new glasses. Yes yes I got cat eye glasses how very-oh don't say it, I love them, but when I had my eyes checked the good doctor told me he could make them a little stronger. I said ok. NOT OK. I had to take them back and the assistant could not read his hand writing and now he's on a holiday. I have to wait,poor me.
And let's see what other bs. I am having no luck getting men to give me an estimate in our driveway hole. Maybe if I stand naked in the driveway someone will offer to do it for free.
Nothing is happening. Is Mercury in retro or something like that?
A new list of advice-a recap
#1-Don't go to Orlando in August.
#2-Don't drive and listen to the Ramones. ?
#3-Don't expect your mom to save your paintings.
#4-You cannot be nice to everyone. I have tried.
#5-If your eyes don't need it, don't get a stronger prescription.
That's all I really want to say right now.
I wanted to post a few Helmut's for the weekend. Then I'll have more O-town stories and pics. (oh goodie shouts my audience of 4.)
Peace and love
16 August 2007
I thought the major was a lady suffragette...
Have I stressed how hot it was in Orlando? Let me tell you, when it gets hot here-NYC area, it's humid around 3 pm and you think that it's HORRIBLE. In Orlando, in August, it's 90F at 9 in the morning and the humidity is 100%. I would sweat 5lbs every time we'd go for a walk. Doesn't that sound attractive? It's hard to stay cute in this sort of climate. My short hair worked out well, so that was a blessing.
And even though I complained non-stop about the heat-I would still go out, my son and I were the only people walking. Well us and some homeless guy who would mumble things to to me from behind the Winn Dixie.(Saying Winn Dixie never sounded really southern to me until living up north, now I have to say it with a southern accent because I think it's funny. Certain southern things are inexplicably adorable. Sweet tea will always be well, sweet. Sort of like I now understand the fixation northerners have with Springsteen.)
It was insane hot. Really. But we'd have to leave the house for some exercise and fresh air and do it first thing in the morning before the sun scorched the gray Florida dirt. We would go feed the ducks here.
This used to be an orange grove when I was a kid. Now it's full of pretty houses that are ill constructed. I'm sure if I walked up to one of the homes and gave it a swift kick I'd put a hole in in a wall.
This lake was always here-I never saw it because going into the orange grove was banned. How many cool things did I miss out on because I listened to my mom? I remember in the summer we knew when the groves were being mowed because the rats would make a pilgrimage to our neighborhood. We would be in the pool at dusk and watch rats run across the phone wires. ewwww.
I'm happy to say we were OK despite sweating buckets. It was so freaking hot! How many times do I need to say this. I would make sure we drank plenty of water, and I read somewhere once that a hiking guide would tell his little hiking people to eat cheezits because of the salt content. When I came back to New York a neighbor told me a nanny she knows was in O-town when I was there and she was hospitalized for heat exhaustion. Thank heavens I adapt very well.
This is the shuttle track from the gate to the main terminal at Orlando International. I think it's very amusing how it looks like Disney. I would chant "monorail monorail monorail". I half expect to see topiaries along the way.
The bromeliads that I love so much
The plumbago that my dad adored.
This was a huge vine climbing the old oak in a neighbors yard.
And even though I complained non-stop about the heat-I would still go out, my son and I were the only people walking. Well us and some homeless guy who would mumble things to to me from behind the Winn Dixie.(Saying Winn Dixie never sounded really southern to me until living up north, now I have to say it with a southern accent because I think it's funny. Certain southern things are inexplicably adorable. Sweet tea will always be well, sweet. Sort of like I now understand the fixation northerners have with Springsteen.)
It was insane hot. Really. But we'd have to leave the house for some exercise and fresh air and do it first thing in the morning before the sun scorched the gray Florida dirt. We would go feed the ducks here.
This used to be an orange grove when I was a kid. Now it's full of pretty houses that are ill constructed. I'm sure if I walked up to one of the homes and gave it a swift kick I'd put a hole in in a wall.
This lake was always here-I never saw it because going into the orange grove was banned. How many cool things did I miss out on because I listened to my mom? I remember in the summer we knew when the groves were being mowed because the rats would make a pilgrimage to our neighborhood. We would be in the pool at dusk and watch rats run across the phone wires. ewwww.
I'm happy to say we were OK despite sweating buckets. It was so freaking hot! How many times do I need to say this. I would make sure we drank plenty of water, and I read somewhere once that a hiking guide would tell his little hiking people to eat cheezits because of the salt content. When I came back to New York a neighbor told me a nanny she knows was in O-town when I was there and she was hospitalized for heat exhaustion. Thank heavens I adapt very well.
And now for some more fotos.
This is the shuttle track from the gate to the main terminal at Orlando International. I think it's very amusing how it looks like Disney. I would chant "monorail monorail monorail". I half expect to see topiaries along the way.
The bromeliads that I love so much
The plumbago that my dad adored.
This was a huge vine climbing the old oak in a neighbors yard.14 August 2007
Everybody play the game...of love...
(Sorry I'm listening to Queen, again)
First I have to say I love my mom. I admit we are very similar but she drives me crazy. My husband says when I get mad, I'm just like my mom. I get quiet very quickly and I won't look you in the eye. Don't try any funny business and make me laugh, because I'm mad and that's that.
So I found myself like this with my mom. Then she would get mad...so I would have to play nice or else we'd wouldn't talk all day. You can tell we're related.
My mom was scheduled for a surgery on Monday morning. My sister took her to the hospital and she was hooked up, ready to go and the anesthesiologist came in and looked over her charts and said-"We'd better not do this because your sodium is too low. You could have brain swelling or a stroke." That was it for my mom. She will not reschedule. Ever. The next day she turned this doctor's advice on us-her family and became nasty about it. She really said this-mind you she'll be 80 next year-"If you girls want me to have this surgery and something happens to me, then you'll have to deal with it then." Oh thanks mom. Well I'm not telling her to do it. Forget it. So I had to listen to my mom on the phone with all of her friends and telling them this whole ordeal over and over again. I would leave the room.
After a few days she was better. Thank heavens.
I started off the cleaning festivities by working in my bedroom. WOW was that a can of worms.
I found yearbooks and notes and lot's of funny little things.
Here is my old microscope. Check out my specimens. Who can tell me what the dragonfly is in? I was pretty resourceful even at 9. Well, and I was a girl scout.
And notice the contact lens case. I hijacked that from one of my sisters. That was my dirt sampler. I would collect dirt and write about the different kinds I found around the yard. And you know what there was still dirt in it.
When I'm forced to see this kind of thing from my childhood, I seriously wonder how and why I didn't become a scientist. I was so completely into it. I would collect dead bugs from the pool and cuts wings off of bees and wasps and look at them under the microscope. I have a scalpel somewhere. Then I would draw what I saw-I loved it. I still kind of do. Biology has always fascinated me.
Me in my old bedroom late at night. I found some pearls my mom gave me and my dad's aviators. This was Monday night. I think I was delirious.
Here is the backyard now where the pool once existed.
I'll stop for now and leave you with a pic of a rarely spotted jungle boy.
First I have to say I love my mom. I admit we are very similar but she drives me crazy. My husband says when I get mad, I'm just like my mom. I get quiet very quickly and I won't look you in the eye. Don't try any funny business and make me laugh, because I'm mad and that's that.
So I found myself like this with my mom. Then she would get mad...so I would have to play nice or else we'd wouldn't talk all day. You can tell we're related.
My mom was scheduled for a surgery on Monday morning. My sister took her to the hospital and she was hooked up, ready to go and the anesthesiologist came in and looked over her charts and said-"We'd better not do this because your sodium is too low. You could have brain swelling or a stroke." That was it for my mom. She will not reschedule. Ever. The next day she turned this doctor's advice on us-her family and became nasty about it. She really said this-mind you she'll be 80 next year-"If you girls want me to have this surgery and something happens to me, then you'll have to deal with it then." Oh thanks mom. Well I'm not telling her to do it. Forget it. So I had to listen to my mom on the phone with all of her friends and telling them this whole ordeal over and over again. I would leave the room.
After a few days she was better. Thank heavens.
I started off the cleaning festivities by working in my bedroom. WOW was that a can of worms.
I found yearbooks and notes and lot's of funny little things.
Here is my old microscope. Check out my specimens. Who can tell me what the dragonfly is in? I was pretty resourceful even at 9. Well, and I was a girl scout.
And notice the contact lens case. I hijacked that from one of my sisters. That was my dirt sampler. I would collect dirt and write about the different kinds I found around the yard. And you know what there was still dirt in it.
When I'm forced to see this kind of thing from my childhood, I seriously wonder how and why I didn't become a scientist. I was so completely into it. I would collect dead bugs from the pool and cuts wings off of bees and wasps and look at them under the microscope. I have a scalpel somewhere. Then I would draw what I saw-I loved it. I still kind of do. Biology has always fascinated me.
Me in my old bedroom late at night. I found some pearls my mom gave me and my dad's aviators. This was Monday night. I think I was delirious.Here is the backyard now where the pool once existed.
This will forever make me sad. It was once my oasis. Now it's full of snakes, chameleons and mosquitoes.
I'll stop for now and leave you with a pic of a rarely spotted jungle boy.13 August 2007
Thistled and thorned...
Good morning/afternoon kit kats! I'm so happy to be back even though I have tons of things to work on.
I will say it was boot camp at my mom's. No car, no music make paintergirl something something...I really was into torturing myself by bringing Of Human Bondage as well. I can think of several things wrong with the title. Still haven't finished it.
There are way too many little bits I need to catch up on this morning. I will leave with a sneak peak in my journal. There will be funny, sad, & weird stories and photos of the neighborhood.
I will say it was boot camp at my mom's. No car, no music make paintergirl something something...I really was into torturing myself by bringing Of Human Bondage as well. I can think of several things wrong with the title. Still haven't finished it.
There are way too many little bits I need to catch up on this morning. I will leave with a sneak peak in my journal. There will be funny, sad, & weird stories and photos of the neighborhood.
04 August 2007
spoke just like a baroness...
OK kittens, I'm off to Orlando for a week at my mum's. Totally incommunicado.
Please send good thoughts and I will try to take some interesting photos of the old homestead.
And maybe I'll be able to finish Of Human Bondage.
Peace and love
Please send good thoughts and I will try to take some interesting photos of the old homestead.
And maybe I'll be able to finish Of Human Bondage.
Peace and love
02 August 2007
Karma...police...arrest this girl...
Seeing John on Sunday brought about quite a few unexpected memories of high school. One of the people he brought up was Keith.
John told me Keith was a head master of mathematics at a boarding school in the tri-state area.
Does not surprise me in the least. Keith is John Nash from a Beautiful Mind but without the schizophrenia. (Well he wasn't in high school)
Keith, you see was my only boyfriend in high school. He was my first boyfriend. I went through all of my years of school without going steady, then senior year happened.
Everything changed. My braces came off, I stopped perming my hair (egads can you imagine-that's not very punk of me-but it was the 80's).
One day one of my very brainac friends (she's an accountant now) tells me...
"You know Kieth?"
Me: "um...Y..E..S-our valedictorian....?
Friend: "He kind of likes you."
I had one of those moments where the background blurred and started spinning around me, and Pretty in Pink started playing in my head.
Somebody liked me. How cool is that. And bless my friend for saying, "Leave it to Patti to get the smartest guy in school to bring his head out of a book". I love her for saying that to me.
Of course it could mean I'm Melanie Griffith to his Jeff Daniel like in Something Wild. I won't think about that.
Then the set-up occurred. High school football game, and after meeting up at the BK lounge.
I'm guessing we talked and I gave him my number. It was awkward and sweet. So endearingly innocent.
Oh yes and the really awesome thing...he drove an orange gremlin. I thought it was cool at the time and I still do.
We had lots of dates and had fun. Except he kept trying to get me to take physics and me, being the stubborn artist refused. I know this drove him crazy. The other night I tried to think what classes he even took. In senior year most of us were taking trigonometry and analytic geometry, what was he taking? It must of been an AP class of calculus.??
Then I don't know what happened. We went to Disney and we were eating at a restaurant and a waiter asked of we were on our honeymoon.
That's when the music stopped-needle on the record player being pushed aside., scratching the record...
I remember being appalled, not with him just the idea of being married. There was NO WAY I was ever going to be married.
How pathetically sad of me.
This is God's mind, "Oh, you're getting along so nicely with a young man, and now we're going to make you dislike him for something a stranger said."
There was never even any mention of anything of the sort. Some of my friends were getting promise rings. I just lost my mind. And this my dear friends is how I started my rocky path of being non-confrontational and never telling anyone what is wrong. We just stopped talking. How horrible. And I will live with that forever.
So Keith-I'm sorry for being such a messed up girl, and I couldn't have had a sweeter first boyfriend.
John told me Keith was a head master of mathematics at a boarding school in the tri-state area.
Does not surprise me in the least. Keith is John Nash from a Beautiful Mind but without the schizophrenia. (Well he wasn't in high school)
Keith, you see was my only boyfriend in high school. He was my first boyfriend. I went through all of my years of school without going steady, then senior year happened.
Everything changed. My braces came off, I stopped perming my hair (egads can you imagine-that's not very punk of me-but it was the 80's).
One day one of my very brainac friends (she's an accountant now) tells me...
"You know Kieth?"
Me: "um...Y..E..S-our valedictorian....?
Friend: "He kind of likes you."
I had one of those moments where the background blurred and started spinning around me, and Pretty in Pink started playing in my head.
Somebody liked me. How cool is that. And bless my friend for saying, "Leave it to Patti to get the smartest guy in school to bring his head out of a book". I love her for saying that to me.
Of course it could mean I'm Melanie Griffith to his Jeff Daniel like in Something Wild. I won't think about that.
Then the set-up occurred. High school football game, and after meeting up at the BK lounge.
I'm guessing we talked and I gave him my number. It was awkward and sweet. So endearingly innocent.
Oh yes and the really awesome thing...he drove an orange gremlin. I thought it was cool at the time and I still do.
We had lots of dates and had fun. Except he kept trying to get me to take physics and me, being the stubborn artist refused. I know this drove him crazy. The other night I tried to think what classes he even took. In senior year most of us were taking trigonometry and analytic geometry, what was he taking? It must of been an AP class of calculus.??
Then I don't know what happened. We went to Disney and we were eating at a restaurant and a waiter asked of we were on our honeymoon.
That's when the music stopped-needle on the record player being pushed aside., scratching the record...
I remember being appalled, not with him just the idea of being married. There was NO WAY I was ever going to be married.
How pathetically sad of me.
This is God's mind, "Oh, you're getting along so nicely with a young man, and now we're going to make you dislike him for something a stranger said."
There was never even any mention of anything of the sort. Some of my friends were getting promise rings. I just lost my mind. And this my dear friends is how I started my rocky path of being non-confrontational and never telling anyone what is wrong. We just stopped talking. How horrible. And I will live with that forever.
So Keith-I'm sorry for being such a messed up girl, and I couldn't have had a sweeter first boyfriend.
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