God save the queen...

I'm not a happy camper today. Everything is getting me down. The endless war we are in. The hysteria being made over oil and the price gouging. The state of our economy. You can see it's endless. And where I feel I have done the most harm, I have lied to myself and everyone for so long. I'm living a life that looks perfectly normal, but it is a facade. Being an artist trying to fit into society is hard, being a couple who are both artists is even tougher. Both of us are trying to fit into a world that does not appreciate working erratically. So we give up being really creative and force ourselves to do work that just puts more money in the big consumer's cog. And I can tell you that does not make me feel good.

For so long my husband and I have tried to fit in and be normal because that is what our parents knew and taught us. We have a family now and having a house and having a good job is what it's all about. Right? But we can't do it. It's hard because not only are we artists but we are both very sensitive to our environment and the unhappiness and the unjust in the world. I'm doing production work because it pays bills, but I really hate it. It's mindless and I honestly feel too removed by working on the computer. Am I being a big baby? Yes. But is it a good thing to be miserable because you are living by rules that were made for people to work in factories. Changes have to be made. For my family as well as society.

What's new pussycat...

In this post I will
1-Talk about how great my husband is
2-Make everyone jealous

So my very sweet, but crazy husband knows I get these stupid crushes on celebrities. They are very silly and I guess it's part of my brain that has not developed since adolescence. I've been this way for a long time, and well I don't see it changing.

I'm never some weirdo stalker. I've never written a fan letter. There was an incident of sending a painting, but we won't talk about that. The closest I've come to being really obsessed was I once belonged to a Robert Carlyle fan list.

Now-when my husband approves of the actor/musician he will very kindly buy something for me related to him. It has come in the form of press kits, posters, movies, cds.
I have a very nice press kit of The Flaming Lips and also one of "Twin Towns". A strange Welsh movie with Rhys Ifans. In doing this, he partly embarrasses me, and I realize the star crush has gone on too long, so I cease and desist.

Now the other evening he came home, he asked me, "If I could get anyone's autograph, who would you like?" Ok-for one thing, I'd be happy with Tom Jones(?!) considering my only other autograph I have is Kevin Sorbo. (Don't ask)

So he whipped out this autograph and made me guess who it was. I'm bad at guessing so he told me. Clive friggin Owen!!! Yep, my husband saw Clive Owen in a very small shop in the city. My hubby said once he heard the man's voice, he knew right away.

I'm still in awe. Clive Owen. The man was robbed from being James Bond!! Go rent "I'll Sleep When I'm Dead" tonight and have some Clive dreams.

This is my husband's account of the scene.

http://monobloge.blogspot.com/

I might be great tomorrow, but hopeless yesterday...

Since it is the 15th of August, I thought this would be a good time to take account of what I want to accomplish for the rest of the month. This is my list of 10 things I must do before August is over.
10. Enroll my son in some toddler program.
9. Go see the Peter Sellers exhibit at Rockefeller Center.
8. Rip up hideous purple carpet in bedroom.
7. Move computer downstairs.
6. Send book off to publishing company.
5. Figure out party theme for son's 3rd birthday next month.
4. Sell more items on Ebay.
3. Work/finish project for husband.
2. Cook better meals.
1. Appreciate the fine combination of gin and tonic.

Reason: It could polish up the grey...

I really like to keep people guessing. It's a sad power play I know, but I'm a natural con artist. If you saw me on the street, you'd think I was just another ragged-out mom wrestling with her toddler. But no, I really have more going on upstairs than most people think.

My most recent incident occurred at the library. And now my cover of just being a mom is blown. Yes, being a mom, I am a true fan of having items placed on reserve. I no longer can peruse new fiction or DVD's. I have a 3 year old that only wants to go to the childrens section and play with a million puzzles. That is that.

Every once in awhile I stroll by the fiction section. Last week something caught my eye, the new Umberto Eco book. Ah Ha! (I know I am committed to finishing Of Human Bondage, but it is trying on my nerves. Just forget about the stupid waitress that thinks she's too good for you. She'll never change her mind.)

So I felt Eco was calling out my name. Took him over to the counter, and yes, I had some items on reserve. I thought I was going to escape out without comment. I was at the door and this particular librarian, who is by far, the only one at the library that is close to my age, said "I think you are the first person to check out Umberto Eco and Bubbleboy at the same time."

Stunned and well I don't think I turned red(being a con and all) I told him I have various interests. He laughed and said "I guess so"

I know I'm leaving this wide open for comments about "Bubbleboy". I know, I know. It was cute and well there were many similarities to Pee Wee's Big Adventure.

I should just wear a t-shirt saying I Heart Jake Gyllenhaal, and be done with it and move on. That and never go to my local library branch ever again.

But she knows what she's worth...

I've come to the conclusion that I have a severe disorder called "Delusions of Greatness"

Everything is usually fine in my normal routine, except I get these flashes in my head, of what I think are, brilliant ideas.

Does this happen to everyone?

Do I need meds to subdue my huge ego that has, over the course of my 38 years, been beaten and shoved and locked away into a tiny box? And in this particular case, the box is about to burst open. I'm an Aries and I don't think anyone really wants a Aries running around helter skelter trashing the place. For so long I've kept everything balanced in a Libra-esque way.

Every so often I think, if only I could finish up this project and then I'll be recognized as the true genius that I am.

I can tell you this, when I'm 80 and I have my retrospective, I will be in the New York Times and the critics will say I am ahead of my time. A Ray Eames of her generation. This is what I see.

Fate-up against your will...

nice girl
Originally uploaded by paintergirl1.

This picture and this song sums up my week thus far.